Monday, October 06, 2008

Emotional Times...

Well, my birthday was yesterday and it was a very nice day. I started out by going to Jazzercise, then I went to Whole Foods for a PomPassion smoothie. I found a neat international Sesame Street CD for my children and some interesting foods to try. I came home and my in-laws called to wish me a happy day. While I was on the phone with them my parents and nephews came over with a cake and presents to surprise me. After the family party Dan took me to Farrelli's Cinema Supper Club to see "Casablanca". I have never seen it before and overall thought it was an interesting movie (I did throw up in my mouth a little when Ingrid Bergman told Humphrey Bogart, "I can't think right now, you have to think for both of us"). ;) Anyway, I had a very pleasant day.

But today... I just had to call our China agency to ask about the rumored increase in orphanage fees from $3,000 to $5,000. I visited with our agency recently in Colorado and the director told me he thought after the Olympics the fees would increase and that would lead to a stabilization and ultimate decrease in wait times. I have not seen any evidence of that so I wanted to find out the status.

Well, while I was talking to my "partner in waiting" I unexpectedly broke down crying. I am just so sad that our wait is growing every month. I don't understand how we can be asked to wait for an unknown length of time. We are AGING! Of course the question is "Who is asking this of you?" and the answer is we are asking this of ourselves to fulfill our dream of parenting an orphan from China.

The Guatemala adoption has put us through the wringer and we feel raw and troubled. I'll never understand why our journeys have been so challenging and trying. Of course I am so happy our son will be home soon, but it does not fill the void in my heart from not having my daughter here.


Isabella's Mommy and Daddy said...

Adoption sure does put you on the edge sometimes.. but you will have your son and daughter home with you soon..
Keep your chin up girly..
Hugs to you..
Happy Belated Birthday..
Have a Great Week.

Troy and Amy said...

Happy Belated Birthday!

I hear you and have been there myself many times. The adoption wait and frustrations are very trying. Prayers to you and your family.

FYI- Our orphanage fee for Ty was a little over $3,500. It has always been 24,000 RMB, but the value of the dollar has gone down. It was 8.00 RMB to $1, but now it goes between 6.7-6.8 RMB which explains the increase. I would suggest to budget at least $15,000 for your travel to China. Our flights were pricey, plus you have ~ $6,000 in cash you must take for all your fees, and then ~$3000 for your in-China expenses for hotels and flights that you pay to CCAI before you leave. It is all worth it in the end. I worried and complained about the cost of things throughout the adoption, but now that we have Ty home, it is not an issue.